Well…I Shut My Mouth and Painted!
I do believe that the hardest part of getting back to work in any endeavor is just starting.
If we have been out of the practice of working on whatever our creative work is, coming back can be daunting. We are clumsy in our own space. Recalling the familiar rhythm we previously established in producing no longer feels intuitive. This can be a discouraging and difficult space to be in for sure - physically and emotionally.
Can you relate? In my previous blog post, Gurl…Just Shut Up and Paint!, I share my experience of being in this space for most of last year.
Once I remembered a quiet prayer, the focus miraculously shifted from me feeling as if pressure was on my shoulders to produce perfect work, to me simply sharing the gifts I was given. The key was remembering my purpose. So, last year in my studio, my retort to those negative voices in my head attempting to sell discouragement and perfection like it was a blessing was, Gurl…just shut up and paint! And that’s what I did, I shut my mouth and painted.
During the final weeks of last year, I painted.
Without expectation.
Without a goal.
Without an image in mind.
I wanted to re-establish my rhythm and my space in the studio in order to create and share confidently. If I am honest, it took a while to find my groove - a groove reflective of where I was at that exact moment in time. Careful to not fall back on a “past groove”, from fear of venturing into the unknown, I remained patient during the uncomfortable and seemingly slow process. By the time my holiday ornaments were finished, I felt less anxious and more joyous in my space and in painting.
Creating from a mindset not hijacked by perfection and doubt invites a freedom that (ironically) yields beautiful and intentional work.
Continuing to paint more comfortably, I created a series of super-saturated, vividly bright gouache studies on watercolor paper. I could not help but feel a calm warmth and joy while painting these. Termed the Apricity series, the term means the light or warmth of the sun. Yes, it is an obsolete word, but how fitting is it to represent the brightness that still exists in the creative process?
I shut my mouth…and painted!
