Inexhaustible
“Oh, how inexhaustible are God’s resources and God’s wisdom and God’s knowledge!”
I came to know God without context.
I was not raised in the church, so my knowledge of God and the Bible was neither celebrated nor shunned.
If we were invited to church by a neighbor or friend, we would warmly accept and attend as a family - getting dressed as the occasion called for and imitating whatever we saw the others who attended more regularly do. As a family, we remained neutrally on the periphery of what was being read out of what sounded to me like a Shakespearean novel. Even if we happened to hear a particularly charismatic individual preach about the perils of sin, the passion they spoke with never translated into a fire and brimstone type of sermon. I didn’t know enough to know what fire and brimstone were.
By the same token, the depth and breadth of God’s love and sovereignty were not known to me.
Then.
So how did I come to know and love God’s word? How did this happen?
Allow me to explain, but first, let me say that I do feel like God has been pursuing me for a while.
During my time in college, I would attend church simply to be around people who knew more about God than I did. So my attendance was very irregular and my faith was not active. It wasn’t until I was two years into an unhealthy marriage (some 10 years after college) that He got my full attention and whole heart. Desperate for peace and to know God’s love, I began to read what I thought was the most intimidating collection of stories ever written.
I began reading Genesis, but quickly found a plan that challenged me to read the Bible in 90 days - and decided to do it. At this point in my faith journey, each time I spent time with God, a sense of peace would wash over me that stood in stark contrast to what I was experiencing most days in my home. So to be accountable for meeting with God daily sounded amazing to me. During that season, it was a literal lifesaver.
And I did it. I finished the Bible in 90 days.
Reading this book, this entirely intimidating and densely ancient book revealed so very much to me. His Word (and love) covered me in ways I was not being covered at that time. The gifts of peace and clarity, which I couldn’t sense before, became the blessings from which I made decisions. Also, it became easier for me to recognize the enemies’ schemes and deceptions.
I was given new sight.
The most amazing gift, however, from reading the Bible is how incredibly inexhaustible it is.
Since my first reading in 2014, I have read it in its entirety a few more times and there are always themes, stories, lessons, and scriptures that land in my head and heart differently. Even with multiple years and life experiences in between each reading, God invites me to receive His love and wisdom in ways necessary for my continued “teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness”. If I could animate it, I would imagine receiving God’s Word is like witnessing a beautifully dynamic kaleidoscope moving and shifting, with colors and shapes aligning and overlapping for specific seasons for each of us, providing guidance and encouragement.
In my daily life, especially in my creative life, I find endless inspiration from God’s Word. There are (still) passages that are just as stunning to me as when I first read them years ago; Saul’s divine conversion to Paul (I honestly think those passages should be written in neon ink, Acts 9), or in the later parts of the book of Job, where God goes into meticulous detail of how He created the earth and asks Job “Where were you…?”(Job 38), or the kindness God extended to Jonah in the heat of the day (Jonah 4:6-11). I could go on and on, as there are so many instances in the Bible that point to His love, goodness, and sovereignty.
I believe it is the depth of love that continues to inspire me. A depth that is deeper, wider, and far more encompassing than anything I could ever imagine in my limited and minuscule humanness. And the beauty, the beauty of that love - I try on my best day to grasp it, to understand it, and then to share it through the talents given to me.
At best, it seems to be a tall order. But then I remember another story that blew me away the first time I read it.
In Genesis, God blesses Abraham with his son Issac, after wanting him for so many years, God tells Abraham to sacrifice his son. Without question, Abraham begins the process of fulfilling God’s request. He sets out on the journey, finds the spot, and gets Issac situated. The very minute Abraham raises his hand to sacrifice his son, God gets Abraham’s attention and provides the sacrifice. It was honestly the first story that stumped me for a while because I had small children at the time and could not imagine this. It hurt to even think about it. But after a few days of mulling it over, I understood.
For Him to lead us, we have to trust Him. Trust requires surrendering, and surrender requires faith.
My faith journey is an iterative process - forever inspiring, never to be mastered, completely inexhaustible.
